


It's a teenage love affair my dear; we're scared that it's going to end.

by transgendergerard



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Comfort/Angst, Hurt/Comfort, John doesn't know his sexuality, Light Angst, M/M, based on true feelings, he just knows he loves Alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:44:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgendergerard/pseuds/transgendergerard
Summary: Alexander Hamilton is graduating high school. He should be excited. He knows this. But he can't seem to find anything to be excited about when all he can think about when come fall he and John won't be going to the same school anymore.





	It's a teenage love affair my dear; we're scared that it's going to end.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a_mind_at_work](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mind_at_work/gifts).



Alex was sad. He knew he shouldn't be sad really. And he didn't like how upset he was over the situation that's in front of him right now, but he is this upset over the situation that's in front of him right now. He doesn't care how much it shows how much of a teenager he actually is. He didn't care. 

 

The situation, of course, is that he's graduating high school. Now, if you asked most kids if they were excited about this 100% would say yes. He would be too embarrassed to say that he would say no that he isn't excited. Why would he say no? Shouldn't he be over the moon about finishing? If you asked him, he would tell you that he deserved to be called a high school drop out. But here he is. Ready for his last week of being a full on high school student. By Saturday night he'll be a high school graduate. But really, all he wants is to freeze time and stay right here. 

 

Here, of course, are John and Alex lying together in Alex's bed. Cuddling. John is resting his head on Alex's chest while Alex is moving his fingers up and down John's spine. Smoothing him. Relaxing him from all the stress that comes with finishing high school. Alex has a tight hold on the slightly younger's man waist. Like if he were to let go John would disappear from him forever. Maybe that's what this current situation feels like. John is about to disappear from him forever and never come back.   
Okay, that isn't true. Half of it anyways. Maybe John will never come back to him. Who knows. College is supposed to change you, right? Alex thought to himself. The person who you are at the start of freshman year isn't the same who you are at your college graduation. Isn't that how the saying goes? 

The real reality of this situation is that after this summer Alex and John won't be together anymore. He isn't sure if they'll still be together as in couple together. He'll figure that out when the time comes, but he knows that means that they won't be seeing each other every day for the first time since Alex moved to New York in 10th grade. Alex somehow got accepted into Columbia. He didn't know how as freshman year really messed up his transcript, but he has real reasons as to why. But he buckled down after that and was fine the rest of high school. So, Alex was still going to be in New York for college. He'll still be able to visit the Washingtons other than important holidays and summer break. 

He's not sure when he'll be able to see John though. Even if they might see each other during summer break. John's going to a different college. To a different country for crying out loud.   
John found out that he got into the University of Cambridge in early September during this school year. Alex tried to be excited for him. Really. But he couldn't. Ever since then moment Alex has felt like Cambridge is taking John from him. Maybe for good. Maybe just for these four years. He really doesn't know. He knows he should be proud of his boyfriend. John's father wanted his children to have the best education possible, and he would do anything for them to have it. Even that means his kids will be far away from home to do it. 

Maybe it won't be so bad. Alex tried to tell himself. Maybe it would be for the best. He really didn't know. And if you were to ask him he would tell you that he is really scared. Really really scared. He didn't want to lose John just because they're going to different schools. He knew that they were better than that. He just didn't know what he should do to make sure they'll stay together through this.   
Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking, Alex.   
He snaps himself out of his thoughts and finds himself staring at John's face. Which shows of no worry whatsoever. No hint of being scared or fear of the future. Like how Alex's face looks. Pay attention to John's face, Alex. Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention to John's face. Pay attention to the fact that even though he's still 17 and won't turn 18 until August he looks like he's still in freshman year almost. It's because his birthday is later in the year Alex thinks to himself. He pays attention to that. Until he realizes that this year this is the first birthday he won't be here for John. It starts again. Again. The worrying about the future. John. Worrying about John. John. John. John. John... 

"Alex! What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." John breaks him out of his thoughts with his voice. Sounding like he does in the morning when he walks up in the morning. John's staring up at Alex now. His hand has found it's way to Alex's jaw, keeping his face concentrated on John's. 

"Oh... um, I was thinking about things is all. That's all. You don't need to worry." Lying. You're lying to John, Alex. 

"Are you sure? It looks like you were thinking about everything at once. Your head looks like it's about to explode." John says, worry in his voice and not in his brain like Alex right now. 

"It's just... this summer is going to be the final summer that we're going to be like this. We're going to different schools and won't be able to see each other all the time like we're used to, if not at all." Alex's voice is quite now. Shaking. Maybe his body will join in the movement soon. He hopes not. "It's stupid, I'm sorry for waking you." Alex apologizes. 

"No, Alex. It's not stupid. I'd be scared that you weren't worried about this at all." John answers. He's scared too. For some reason, Alex shows a small smile at that. 

"We're going to be fine. I'm not sure how I know that's true, but I just know it is. It's just college. Something everything goes through. And then it's done. And then we'll come back to each other and find a place and move in together. Maybe here in America or maybe in England. Who knows. But it will never not be us. Okay? We're AlexandJohn. Not JohnandAlex. Remember?" 

Alex gives a small giggle at that. They're not even two separate people anymore. Just one person. They can't be separated. They won't be separated. 

"I guess you're right. I just... get so scared of the future sometimes. I just want to fast forward 5 years just to see us together again like you said we will be." 

"Well, I guess that means we just have to make it out of the next four years alive now don't we?" John asks. But not hoping for an answer. Alex just nodes him an answer.   
"  
Now, Alex. Can we actually get some sleep now? I'm tired and I know after next week we'll need to sleep for a million years to recover from finishing high school. Will you take a nap with me, Alexander Hamilton?" John gives Alex a soft kiss on his lips at that. Calming him.   
Making sure that he isn't going to disappear and won't come back to them. John snuggles back down in Alex's chest. His nose snuggling against Alex's neck. He places a small kiss on Alex's neck and gives him a smile that feels of hope and light. Showing him that they're really are going to be okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually based on what's going on with my life right now! My crush and I are graduating high school and will be going to different colleges and he doesn't know that I like him. So I wrote a fanfic about it. You're welcome. 
> 
> This fic is dedicated to @a_mind_at_work for inspiring me to finally writing some Lams! And some angsty lams at that since she's the angst queen ;) 
> 
> P.S yes I wrote this at 3 in the morning. That's how I am able to write fics apparently.


End file.
